Hesketh Pearson

“Our true Patron Saint is not St George but Sir John Falstaff….we are the most civilised people in the world, the reason being that we are the most humorous people in the world”

The English Genius, 1939

Events mostly unimportant

"History: An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools." ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

A Great Dust Heap

"History is a great dust heap." ~Thomas Carlyle, Obiter Dicta

Define historian

"Historian: A broad-gauge gossip." ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

What is a historian?

"Historian: an unsuccessful novelist." ~H.L. Mencken

Define: History

"History: gossip well told." ~Elbert Hubbard, The Roycroft Dictionary

Old Man History

"History with its flickering lamp stumbles along the trail of the past, trying to reconstruct its scenes, to revive its echoes, and kindle with pale gleams the passion of former days." ~Winston Churchill

Career Requirements of a Politician

"He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."

George Bernard Shaw

Post-event wisdom

"It is easy to be wise after the event."

Cognitive Heroics

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes."-Benjamin D'israeli

Chess Analogy

"After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box."
-Russian proverb

Cynical

"Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience treacherous, judgment difficult."

Flashy's Sufferance

"The point is I've made capital out of my dishonourable scars by adhering to one golden rule — Flashy's Sufferance, I call it: always convey, but never say, that your injury is a sight worse than it really is. It’s elementary, really. In convalescence this ensures sympathy, if you play it properly — the barely perceptible wince, the sharp little intake of breath, the faint smile followed by the quick shake of the head, and never a word of complaint from the dear brave boy — but far more importantly, in the heat of battle it enables you to feign mortal hurt and shirk any further part in the action."-George MacDonald Fraser, via Harry Flashman

The Age of Reason

"I was Catholic until I reached the Age Of Reason" -George Carlin

It isn't exactly brain surgery, now is it?

The beautiful part of writing is that you don't have to get it right the first time, unlike, say, a brain surgeon. - Robert Cormier

Writing Cricket Bats

"What we're trying to do is to write cricket bats, so that when we throw up an idea and give it a little knock, it might...travel."